A not so critical review
Photo by Nathan Lindahl on Unsplash
Depending on your location, friend group, career, and spiritual leanings, you’ve probably at least heard about the Enneagram. I first heard about it on my favorite new age/comedy podcast, You Made It Weird with Pete Holmes and they made a compelling case. Being a professor, I have since seen it spread like wildfire through wide-eyed college students, many of whom are freshman dying for someone to just give them an identity already. Don’t worry kids. Same.
So, as any good lover of humans should do, I decided to dive in and make sure that this wasn’t a cult… or at least, not a dangerous one? At first glance, it seemed to be no different than the other personality tests peddled by corporate trainers and leadership retreat leaders like the Myers-Briggs, Four Temperaments (Also known as the Harry Potter Houses), Strengthsfinder, VARK, and all the rest, but there’s something unique about both the Enneagram’s implementation and reception these days. Being adopted seemingly by everyone from straight-forward business professionals to Zodiac fanatics alike, there’s something, just, different about the Enneagram.
Because there are plenty of articles that do the deep dive into this juggernaut of personality theory, and people (that I know, personally, in real life, that are doing this unironically) are paying to become “certified Enneagram experts”) I will keep the whole “Enneagram 101” brief.
The short-note breakdown, for those who don’t know, is typically as follows: The general principle is that there are nine numbers and after taking the Enneagram test (there are many free options out there) you are told which number or number options you are likely to be. The beauty is that your number is your number and you’re meant to explore and find which one you are, with the test serving as merely a guide.
For those of you who don’t know anything about the Enneagram, I highly recommend that, as a voyeur or a participant, you do some reading up on it. It is far too complicated to tackle in this article, but The Enneagram Institute puts it perfectly and succinctly on its website.
These one-word descriptors can be expanded into four-word sets of traits. Keep in mind that these are merely highlights and do not represent the full spectrum of each type. Type One is principled, purposeful, self-controlled, and perfectionistic. Type Two is generous, demonstrative, people-pleasing, and possessive. Type Three is adaptable, excelling, driven, and image-conscious. Type Four is expressive, dramatic, self-absorbed, and temperamental. Type Five is perceptive, innovative, secretive, and isolated. Type Six is engaging, responsible, anxious, and suspicious. Type Seven is spontaneous, versatile, acquisitive, and scattered. Type Eight is self-confident, decisive, willful, and confrontational. Type Nine is receptive, reassuring, complacent, and resign
As I learned more about the Enneagram, I found myself being confronted time and time again with insights that were just too uncanny to ignore. Did we find the code to solve the mystery of personality? Probably not. But, after my research was complete, I had a healthy respect for the principle of the damn thing.
While I believe that the Enneagram has more potential for good than for bad, it is alarming to me how little I see warning being discussed. The more I learn about the Enneagram, the more I see it through the metaphor of fire. The first and most obvious thing we think about when we think about fire is destruction. It can hurt and it can destroy. But, as you ponder fire further you begin to realize that this seemingly singularly destructive force has been manipulated by humans as arguably the most important tool in our quiver as humans. It can destroy whole ecosystems and communities, but it has been also been our number one catalyst.
That is the Enneagram. It can show us insights about ourselves in a language we understand, but the first, and most obvious thing should never be forgotten. It can be a very dangerous force when it is projected outwards without great care. These numbers, and sub numbers, and all of the other intricate aspects of the Enneagram are wildly interesting for those wanting to participate and even for those who don’t. It being interesting isn’t a controversial point…
It can be a shortcut to relationships (this is probably bad)
The Enneagram isn’t new, it’s just very hot right now. For thousands of years, the ideas that would eventually grow into what we know as modern Enneagram theory were kept as an oral tradition. Not because that was the only way we shared information, to the contrary, it was intentional obscurity in hopes that they could protect the subtle art of this sacred theory. Ancient monks and friars would sometimes refuse to share their number, and did not wish to know the numbers of their peers in the temples and monasteries. They felt that such knowledge was inherently perverse and could introduce an unhealthy power dynamic. The Enneagram was meant to show you, you.
I think that relationships are nothing if not the act of learning about one another. This is how we be better business partners, or sisters, or husbands, or parents. In a beautiful romantic relationship, this can sometimes even last forever. I would argue that this is the most important thing to care about in modern life, and, if we aren’t careful, the Enneagram can be used as an attempted shortcut. The importance of getting to know someone is as important as how that information is used. We all know this can go poorly, we have seen it hundreds of times, and I am sure we have done it once or twice as well.
The Enneagram can be a very tempting way to say “Oh, Stacy said she was a 2 on the Enneagram, I bet she’s codependent.” Even when our intentions are pure, these assumptions are still incredibly dangerous to our relationships. “Oh, Kyle is a 7, so he’s always ready for a party!” Even if feels true, it doesn’t mean it is. Additionally, the pressure put on someone to act a certain way is unhealthy to them and the way that they see you. The problem is, it’s tempting.
This stems from our individual needs to understand and thus feel a sense of control over our relationships. Other people, the relationships in our lives, the information we gain from and about people, behaviors, these are not things we should try to control. What we should try to control, however, is ourselves…
It can be a shortcut to understanding yourself (this is probably good)
Unlike our relationships with other people, we already know ourselves pretty well. The Enneagram can be a welcomed little side-kick to help us navigate our world. For me, it showed me a lot about why when I am stressed out, I become less of a happy-go-lucky goofball and more analytical and stoic. This isn’t a mood swing and this isn’t even something negative necessarily, it has just been something I have noticed throughout my life. If you want to work to improve yourself, the Enneagram will give you the tools to do so.
The reality is, with Myers Briggs, you get 16 choices at a personality. There are twelve zodiac signs, and there are four Harry Potter Houses. With Enneagram literally meaning “nine”, we would assume that there are nine choices at a personality. That’s where most people stop. They enjoy their number, they have fun with the benign tribalism of it all, they have an understanding of themselves and a little bit of self-help trail mix to help them along on their journey. But, this is where the Enneagram gets even more complex if you want it to. When I first heard about “wings” and “tri-types” and “health numbers” and “Development numbers”, trust me, I was the first to want to call bullshit. But, as I learned more and read more and spoke to people more about these weird complications to the test, I found out two very important things.
1. This makes the Enneagram more inclusive and individualistic not the other way around. This offers a much more nuanced level of interpretation and allows for much more room to explore who YOU are.
2. There remains a finite spectrum, meaning there are not infinite combinations, but there are still many. Which helps you find and connect with people in a more specific way.
When I began to think of the numbers as having a color, this began to make much more sense to me. I can wear a purple shirt and so can my girlfriend. The odds of those being the same color purple are as unlikely as finding someone who is exactly like yourself. Keep in mind, I am not talking about plum v.s. magenta. Even if they look similar, under a microscope, nothing is the same. Even if they were the same color sweater, bought on the same day from the same store, they have been worn, washed, damaged or taken care of, in their unique way. Just like us. Everyone yearns for being defined, but that’s the job of the individual. As long as we keep this in mind, the Enneagram can be a beautiful thing.
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